so painful words don’t come..

so numbing

with each limb aching..

it is surreal – wake me up..

and let me never wake again..

Will I feel what’s real

Or stay in this dreamlike nightmare existence..

time alludes me

I’ve disappeared – slipping into the cracks and i am certain I’ll become dust

simply disintegrating..

then the love comes –

in numbers unexpected

in ways unimagined

and with each stitch of love

my pieces are slowly grafted back together..

Crooked, messy and uneven.. never to match up perfectly again

but the strings keep pulling tighter – and somehow they hold me together..

my insides don’t pour out- though I feel hollow..

and somehow I don’t hit bottom like dead weight-though I feel like I’ve exploded inside out..

no- somehow l only skim the surface of hell

and invisible gentle hands put the embers out before I implode into flames

And hope catches me and it

saves me..