inside the demons hide
and the moments are colder
yet love blankets my bones
it’s so dark
the bright not seeping in..
I feel the howling whispers of defeat
the booming silence in this empty space
bores into my soul
The mental breakdown breaking something in me already wounded
Rising- I will face it with a steadfast perspective riding the ever changing tide of emotion and circumstance..
For now I will learn to listen in the dark
Knowing each moment holds the chance of a fresh new start
You, her, me,
them, they, us..
scrutinizing each other until the words decimate the soul..
lies become truth
Wrongs become right..
The silent war is on
Jealousy causing a disease within us..
rotting to the core until we are no more
Critiquing never ends
So much hurt
Intense pretty blue eyes
shading the hate
Brown eyes dull with pain
green eyes no longer sparkle
ridicule has had its’ way far too long
shredding her along the way, tearing you down
Until we are a wisp of a shadow of who they once were..
though the smile is present, her laugh out loud,
she has decayed inside
The smell unbearable
The pain crushing
until she can fight no more..
No one wins
as we all disappear within the mirror of fear we’ve learned to hate..
Courageous in your uniqueness
You make me better
Loving freely, honestly, completely
You’ve awoken a gentle rage within
It moves me
Wonder if you’ll ever understand
All I need is your hand
There is no bondage
No chains, no rules
Hope can be a weapon
Go ahead ‘n’ pull the trigger
It’s worth the fall
For I haven broken free
How do I stand at the abyss and not fall in..
the nightmare a reality
They need me to stay strong..
How do I keep my heart from giving in
It feels what my eyes see
It hears the violent truths my ears hear
It can’t escape what my mind can’t fathom..
This space can’t exist without you
my walls will come tumbling down
Who will save me if I can’t save you
my heart is so weary
How do I protect you
Keep the chains of pain away from you
my heart runs cold from fear..
My eyes will close with yours
So I can see your smile
Hear your giggles
Feel those little hands reaching out and touching me
my heart needs yours..
maybe one day I’ll breathe again
What I’d give to breath your air for a lifetime..
all your emotions whirling about
I taste the sweetness of your love in the air
surrounding me with every breath I take
My Heart pounding to the intake of you
until I surrender
A blessing or a curse to care so..
Your gaze – seeing through to my soul
A love that fills me to my core
making me complete
I’ll bear your wind and live in the whirlwind that follows..
The haze is lifting
The picture more clear
Where do you hide..
She hears the silent tears
She feels them too
Trying to follow the ache of sadness.. it’s no where to be found
The image appears
every where she looks..
big brown eyes
full of despair & weariness
The heaviness sinks in when she finally stops avoiding the shadow
She’s been running all her days
the road has been long but
the end is near – the dark is lightening
and she takes deep breaths
realizing memories don’t define her
That first step
so tentative, so shaky
as new life is coming into view..
Who is she
she’s not sure
But She smiles at what She sees
The mirror has shattered
Glass splintered everywhere..
and she sees how wonderful the many sides of her can be..