I loved you before I knew what it was
My heart calling out before I could verbalize your name..
Walking toward you before I understood you existed
A longing – I felt
a yearning – I taste
a reckoning of the soul to be made whole..
It beckons me..
I envy the peace of the dead
The quiet in the head-
one I’ve never known..
They want me to hold on
Feel the heartbeat – don’t give in to defeat..
My beginning never got to start
Now I ask you – put me in the ground
Let me end where I began
I can’t exist in this magical land
Let me be the fairy dust in your hand.
Lips are moving
I can’t hear you
Heart is beating
I can’t feel you
so well guarded..
all smiles tucked away for another day..
Never to light my face again..
Not a dimple, not a twinkle
No not even a sliver
Least the house of cards come crashing down..
Fire away &
The ricochet will slam you hard..
The holes you feel and see are me disappearing
never to be seen again
the decay of you & me is all I see
A chapel built around the image of we..
No longer what we were once meant to be..
broken down – on my hands and knees..
Let’s set our hearts free
reach for me please..
clenching so tight her hands hurt
every muscle tense as perspiration bubbled on her soft pale skin
she gasped, as she realized the battle was done
The long hard struggle was no more..
Breathing in deeply, she fell to her knees collapsing in tears..
Her tired mind no longer racing, the turmoil silenced..
She tried putting thoughts together;
wondering how she’d ever breathe again..
She wanted to
She wanted to try but all she could do was cry
She told herself to move, to leave it all behind
But without him, there was no place to go..
She couldn’t fathom the unthinkable
The dark night beckoned her with promises untold
Closing her eyes, her hands fell open as her face softened..
Her soul gave way to the dark night
What had begun was done..
Pain unleashed like no other..
every word a strike to her raw nerves
Every fiber of her being exposed.. Rotting from the inside out..
Tweaked Love wrapped in hate sadness anger
ripping its’ way through her heart..
Nobody sees, nobody knows the depth of misery she trudges through
The light in her eyes turned off leaving her to live in the shadows of what was..
Dark skies all around as she grasps about looking to find herself
He loved her till she was no more..
Too caught up, to blind to see she was living in his debris
Her tired heart still beats for him
as if she never knew that
Loving him was the beginning of the end..